Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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