the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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