I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
