found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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