Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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