actually, I'm a sock model
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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