Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
