You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
there is glitter all over my balls
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
