There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
