try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Did I show you my penis last night?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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