i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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