Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.