my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
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I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
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I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea