Texts From Last Night

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  (912): View more from Georgia

  He kissed a someone with a penis

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  (912): He kissed a someone with a penis http://tfl.nu/3ilh
  Replies (14) Good night (1085) Bad night (3242)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer

  (818): View more from California

  oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good

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  (206): ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer (818): oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good http://tfl.nu/hoy9
  Replies (43) Good night (789) Bad night (4534)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"

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  (270): At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back" http://tfl.nu/lhve
  Replies (9) Good night (4777) Bad night (747)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance

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  (336): i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance http://tfl.nu/wpko
  Replies (10) Good night (6259) Bad night (1248)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways

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  (904): we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways http://tfl.nu/vdwk
  Replies (6) Good night (4162) Bad night (1126)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...

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  (905): oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"... http://tfl.nu/xa6k
  Replies (18) Good night (4930) Bad night (1926)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'

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  (+44): I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.' http://tfl.nu/vhcz
  Replies (5) Good night (2593) Bad night (1550)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.

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  (201): I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out. http://tfl.nu/k100
  Replies (5) Good night (1545) Bad night (746)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often

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  (416): The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often http://tfl.nu/ivea
  Replies (7) Good night (2185) Bad night (627)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?

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  (801): Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous? http://tfl.nu/yl4t
  Replies (9) Good night (1665) Bad night (464)
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  (078): View more from

  Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!

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  (078): Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?! http://tfl.nu/fofo
  Replies (9) Good night (909) Bad night (837)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.

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  (724): Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge. http://tfl.nu/wjo8
  Replies (3) Good night (1426) Bad night (518)
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  (916): View more from California

  Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.

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  (916): Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again. http://tfl.nu/rten
  Replies (8) Good night (1290) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I love it when he cheats on me with nice people

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  (231): Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend (231): I love it when he cheats on me with nice people http://tfl.nu/h468
  Replies (8) Good night (478) Bad night (1294)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.

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  (570): Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore. http://tfl.nu/jsbv
  Replies (2) Good night (663) Bad night (327)

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