Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
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The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
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I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life