You're completely useless in the revolution.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail