No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
