Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize