piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
