This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
