The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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