I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize