would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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