shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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