..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
