We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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