Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Randomize
