I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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