Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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