so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
