Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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