Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize