by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
