Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
