No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize