why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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