so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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