she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
worst night to have a conscience
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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