belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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