He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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