I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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