the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
