The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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