"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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