She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
