And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
