i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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