i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
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I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
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Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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