everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
