I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
