My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
