if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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