His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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