Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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