I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
