I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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