Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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