the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
