one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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