how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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